


A Man of Many...Unusual Talents

by orphan_account



Series: Jeremwood Oneshots [30]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Ryan and Jeremy are too precious for this word, Ryan just doesn’t like his body, Ryan was a stripper once, Ryan will do anything for Jeremy, Slight Self Hatred, battle buddies, battle husbands, but jeremy thinks he’s hot so that’s all he needs, but that was a long time ago, nipple tassels, pretend forced consent, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21960826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ryan never should’ve told Jermey he was once a stripper.
Relationships: Battle Buddies - Relationship, Ryan Haywood/Jeremy Dooley
Series: Jeremwood Oneshots [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/611044
Kudos: 48





	A Man of Many...Unusual Talents

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the small moment in the new Achievement Haunter trailer with Ryan wearing nipple tassels and spinning them around. Enjoy and merry Christmas!

Ryan wasn’t quite sure how he’d gotten roped into this, was very unsure if he should even follow through as he did have a reputation to uphold and all his hard work to maintain said image over the last twenty years would be completely ruined by this one, simple act. He should never have mentioned his brief stint as a male stripper and a few of the bizarre talents he’d acquired in that time, should’ve known that this information would be used against him in some way shape or form. He took a deep breath, rolled his eyes and stepped out of the bathroom where he’d been hiding for the last five minutes, trying to put off the inevitable, a groan rumbling in his throat. He slowly approached the bed where the figure sat with a confused but humorous smile on his face, eyes closed as promised. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes as he cleared his throat, the signal for the figure to open his eyes.

There was silence for a moment, a very short moment before high pitched giggling reached his ears and he felt the heat rising in his face as he peeled his eyelids open to shoot a glare at the small man on the bed. His eyes were sparkling with mirth, a hand pressed tightly over his mouth trying and failing to muffle the giggling that was bubbling out of him.

“This was a mistake,” he grumbled.

“No no! This is...this is great Ryan! You look...great!” the smaller man said between small fits of giggles. Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Fuck you Jeremy, if the crew ever finds out about this I WILL kill you!” he growled the warning halfheartedly.

“Nah, you wouldn’t hurt me, I’m too damn adorable and you love me,” Jeremy smiled and winked at Ryan, putting on that insanely adorable face that Ryan could never resist.

“This is a one time thing!” he persisted.

“Hmm, we’ll see,” Jeremy chuckled and waggled his eyebrows, Ryan snorting.

He glanced in the mirror against the wall next to the bed, a full length piece of glass which now made him want to bury himself alive. He was wearing some sports shorts, grayish silver in color, but that’s where the clothing ended and his utter humiliation began. He was shirtless, chest hair untrimmed, the slight beginnings of love handles a little too pronounced for his liking along with the soft of his stomach, which upon his first sighting, Jeremy had lovingly announced his official dad bod status. Unfortunately that wasn’t where his shame ended, for upon his chest, adorning his breasts like two vultures, were two very black nipple tassels. He groaned again and put his head in his hands.

“I look so fucking stupid,” he nearly wailed.

“You said hot as fuck wrong Ryan,” Jeremy smoothly replied with that damned charming smile. Ryan glared at him from between his fingers.

“This is your fault,” Ryan grumbled again.

“I know. Now, pay up Haywood!” Jeremy smiled wickedly.

Ryan closed his eyes and for the hundredth time that day groaned before allowing his arms to fall to his sides limply and hung his head. He stayed that way for a moment before he slowly started bouncing up and down on his feet, bending his knees and snapping up straight. He could feel Jeremy’s eyes on him and with a final goodbye to any ounce of dignity he had, he looked up and made direct eye contact with his Battle Buddy. Jeremy was full on laughing now, the biggest smile on his face Ryan had ever seen as Ryan expertly made the tassels spin in rapid circles. He felt the deep blush of embarrassment heat his face as he bent his elbows and raised his hands to shoulder level, holding out finger guns as he bounced. He could feel himself jiggling in all the places he hated but he needed to do this. He’d made a promise.

Jeremy’s bubbly laughter only increased and he nearly fell off the bed when Ryan started leaning from side to side and then started rotating in a slow circle, maintaining his expert spinning as he stepped a full three hundred and sixty degrees in place. He finished by bouncing particularly hard and on the downbeat stopped, shooting the finger guns to Jeremy and forcing a smile onto his face and winked.

Jeremy applauded and Ryan took notice of the crafty little bastard slipping his phone back into his pocket, video and photos of his humiliating ordeal no doubt filling the device. He’d have to get back at the lad later, maybe tie him down as he went through the phone and systematically deleted every shred of evidence the lad had procured. But for now he just stood there, panting ever so slightly as he watched his husband and best friend stand and walk over to him.

Jeremy wrapped Ryan in a tight hug and leaned his head against the gent’s chest, sighing happily. Ryan felt the small smile play across his face as he hugged Jeremy back.

“Thank you for that...incredible display, Ryan, you’re a man of many...unusual talents. I know you hated it,” the lad smiled and looked up at him, still pressed close in the hug as his chestnut brown eyes met Ryan’s icy blues.

“You’re welcome. But you’re never seeing this fat ol man perform like that for you again,” Ryan chuckled.

“You stop that! You’re not fat or old! You’re perfect and I love you!” Jeremy looked hurt as he squeezed Ryan a little tighter.

“Not as perfect as you my dearest,” Ryan smiled and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead.

“I mean it Ry! I love you just the way you are. All of you,” the lad said and gently pressed his hands to Ryan’s sides, the gent jerking ever so slightly at the touch.

Slowly Jeremy reached up and gently removed the tassels, running his hands down Ryan’s chest and abdomen.

“You. Are. Perfect,” he said, gently poking Ryan’s chest at each word before leaning up to give his husband a kiss, the gent happily returning the gesture as he felt tears filling his eyes.

Jeremy always knew what to say to make him feel better about himself, always had his back. Truth be told, he was mostly over embellishing the show he’d given, secretly happy at any opportunity to make his husband happy.

“I love you Jer bear,” he whispered.

“I love you two Rye-bread,” Jeremy smiled and the two shared another kiss.

“Can I put my shirt back on now?” Ryan chuckled.

“Yes you adorable dork, go change and then we’ll sit around eating junk food and playing video games and cuddling!” Jeremy laughed and gently pushed Ryan back towards the bathroom to change. Ryan paused at the doorway and looked back with a smile.

How was he so lucky to have a husband as perfect as his?


End file.
